Farkitecture Follies pt3

Ah yes there it is…and theres’ another and another and another…you’ve seen em all over town…
and when you’ve seen one of em you have seen em all…..

Reporting the deathly metamorphoses of a historic house into one of these things a fellow historian dubbed the end result “THE PLASTIC MILK CARTON.”

When the sun hits the vinyl the glare requires sun glasses… I swear those things glow in the dark…which makes.sense.considering the “vinyl” is PVC Polyvinylchloride..which contains lead and other toxic substances which it off gasses into the environment. Plus making this stuff uses vast amounts of petrochemicals and generates tons of waste..toxic

Houses completely smothered completely covered in VINYL…yep beige and sometimes yella….. to get the vinyl to “fit”any surviving wood architectural features such as corbels, brackets, arts and crafts beams which project outward a bit, any curves at the roof line…especially when the vinyl gutters are added (vinyl windows rate a separate award)

ANYTHING that gave the house any distinctiveness or architectural character is hacked off and what remains is covered up…to carve the house with those clean rigid boring lines of the suburban tract house….Some might say…well the vinyl is “maintenance free” and lasts for a thousand billion years…till it warps, cracks, discolors or pops off cause of the sh*tty installation….it’s just a successor to asbestos, tar, stucco or aluminum siding. But for vinyl’s ability to erase all historic character, schlock up and deface our neighborhoods…this award is given.

Award #3

The Plastic Milk Carton


One Response

  1. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! I drive by this every day and am continuously perplexed and saddened. Glad I’m not the only one.

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